“What kind of pansy-ass mass transit system is this?” the twins said to me. “Carpeting on the floors, upholstered seats that are actually impossible to clean, this is no subway system. It’s filthier than NY”. “Well” I said, “you don’t get as much of the smell of urine, but you pay more, and have less places to go. And the suburban riders can still feel semi-upscale. It’s the California experience. If only they sprayed that new carpet smell every day in each car.”